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Posts Tagged ‘marriage counseling’

Advice On Effectively Communicating With Your Spouse

March 23rd, 2010

Most marriage problems stem from a lack of communication in the marital relationship. While most couples would tell you that they work hard to communicate with their spouse, most spouses feel that there is a lack of communication on their partner’s behalf. This is mostly because from each person’s perspective they believe that they are effectively communicating their point of view, but the information is not being clearly received on the other side.

This is nothing to fear, however, and can be resolved fairly easily. One of the most effective ways to mange this problem is to step up some communication rules that both you and your spouse need to properly follow and at all times, when you want to convey a message to your spouse and want to make sure the message is clearly understood.

1. Have A Speaking Stick- It is often helpful to have a speaking stick in the home when you need to have a conversation with your spouse and want to be sure that you are being heard and understood, as well as making sure your partner gets their chance to speak. When you utilize a speaking stick, only the person with the stick is allowed to speak and therefore you eliminate talking at the same time and not hearing what your partner is saying and vise versa.

3. Stay On Track With Your Conversation- A lot of times while a couple attempts to communicate they begin calling down additional events from their past. They have such a history together that one matter extends to another and therefore eventually back into a controversy. Dealing exclusively with one matter at a time could genuinely assist in centering the communicating to ensure that both spouses are on the same page.

3. Wait Before You Speak- When a problem arises couples often want to discuss it then and there, and this can cause for a very heated argument, as both will be agitated and defensive. Instead, create a specific day and time where you can sit down and discuss the issues that arise during the week. This gives you and your spouse a change to think about the issues and what you would like ot communicate to your spouse. This will allow you to both discuss all the issues rationally and without getting into a heated argument.

If you are experiencing marriage problems, log onto www.lightyourfire.com immediately. We will help you avoid divorce, and and remove the need for you to look up save my marriage on the internet.

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What Makes For A Successful Marriage

March 8th, 2010

Although you can click on thousands of articles that will tell you all about marriage counselor, there are not so many clicks that will bring you to an article on how to have a successful marriage. Many feel that if there are no problems you will be fine, but when a problem does arise they need to work extra hard at fixing it. Why not start working on your marriage now? Having a successful marriage is a simple task, just by following the ABC’s of marriage outlined below.

A – ALWAYS treat each other with respect and kindness. Love is an important aspect of a marriage but without respect for each other communication breaks down and the marriage begins to crumble. Respect is the cornerstone of a good relationship and no marriage can survive without it.

B- It is simple for two people to have sex, it is done all the time. However, it is not simple to BE someones friend, and this is what you want to be for your spouse. Your spouse must be your best friend, and someone that you tell your deepest desires and secrets to. You want to be able to have a feeling of trust and security with your spouse, as this is the major component to have a long and happy marriage.

C- In any marriage it is important that both spouses be willing to CARRY and be CARRIED through the difficult times in life. When you are faced with a personal tragedy you need to let go and depend on someone that is strong and can carry you back up the hill.

S – SACRED. Your marriage is a sacred relationship and one that needs to be in the forefront of your life. Treating it as the special and unique relationship that it is will ensure a happy life together.

Avoid marriage problems by visiting www.lightyourfire.com. It is a place where you can read advice and testimonies as well as purchase programs that are a form of in home marriage counseling.

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Top Five Techniques For A Annoyance Free Marriage

February 28th, 2010

When you are in the “honeymoon” stage of marriage there is nothing that your spouse can do that will case you stress. Your spouse can do no wrong and is the best thing since sliced bread was invented. Then suddenly day to day issues begin to seep into your marriage and you start to get a little annoyed at the littlest things your spouse may do. After a few years this mere annoyance turns into something much larger and can begin to case trouble for you and your spouse.

You have worked hard at your marriage, to keep you and your spouse happy and well adjusted. You will not want to ruin all that you have because of an annoyance, that at one time did not bother you at all. If you follow the tips provided below, you will be able to calming manage these annoyances before they turn into a tsunami.

1. Keep It In Perspective- Little things can be overlooked. Your spouse is not perfect but neither are you, so try to focus on all the wonderful ways that your spouse enhances your life.

2. Take A Breather- Sometimes it is difficult to think positively while you are heated mad. Instead of speaking right away, which will only come out as a nagging yell, take a breath. Remove yourself for the situation if you have to and take a few deep breaths. You will be surprised at how this will help you bring things into perspective.

3. Discuss, Don’t Fight- If there is an annoyance in your marriage that you just can not take anymore and you feel may get out of control if you keep silent any longer as your spouse if you can sit and discuss it. When you sit with your spouse you want to make sure that you do not get petty and most of all you do not scream or yell. Talk calmly and rationally until you can come to a solution that will suit both of you.

4. Create Moments To Spend Together- Take some time in the day, or at least once a week, to spend solely with your spouse. You can leave the kids with a sitter and go out to dinner, plan a romantic getaway together and spend time looking at all the places you can visit and what you will do. Don’t just plan the getaway make sure that you actually go on the getaway. Time for the two of you does not always have to cost money though. It can be staying at home and watching a movie while you snuggle (instead of sitting on opposite ends of the couch), play a board game, or whatever activity that you both enjoy to do. Many couples even choose a show that they both like and once a week sit down to watch it together. This is a great way to schedule partner time for you and your spouse.

5. Laugh- Laughter is truly the best medicine. As long as you are not making fun of your spouse, or becoming an annoyance yourself sometimes the best thing to do is make a joke about the annoyance. If you are bothered that you are always tripping over their shoes (when you have an obvious place that all the shoes go), play a game of hot and cold with them. Hide them in a spot and make your spouse find them, by only using the hints hot and cold. You will find that instead of fighting about how you tripped over the shoes again. You will be laughing at how hard your spouse is working to find them. This is a great way to turn your angry into something fun.

It is important to remember that living with anyone day after day can be stressful, but that dealing with the humanness of each other is the key to a healthy and happy marriage.

When you are searching for an effective way to recreate the bond between you and your spouse visit Light Your Fire at www.lightyourfire.com. It is a wonderful program that will provide greater results than expensive marriage counseling. Visit the website today, and begin making the changes your marriage needs to survive.

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